lake in the forest with reflection

 

Four secrets anyone must have to have massive impact in the first 5 minutes

  • Be a master of the conversational Sleight-of-Hand –

    Communication: Be a master of the conversational Sleight-of-Hand

  • Learn how to be an “Emotional Conductor” (and become resistant/unreceptive to insults, criticism and mockery)
  • Adopt a Value-Delivering Mind-set (and let others praise you for it)
  • Become a Master Story Teller

 

Today is the second of four posts in which I will share tips on how to have massive impact in the first five minutes of walking into a room.

 

How do you deal with insults, criticism and mockery?

Have you ever been in a situation where you have maybe delivered a speech or a talk and had insults or criticism thrown at you? Maybe after the talk or speech while networking with the group you heard some negative comments/criticism about you or your talk or speech on the other side of the room?

 

How do you deal with insults, criticism and mockery? Do you act or react?

 

Learn how to be an “Emotional Conductor” (and become resistant/unreceptive to insults, criticism and mockery):

We all have to learn how to be strong in the face of criticism. Criticism gives you a chance to show what you are made of in the way you respond. This is possible when you have mastered the art of being an Emotional Conductor. It is especially great when facing intimidating and urgent scenarios in which you have to respond on your feet.

 

Being an Emotional Conductor means being able to be the emotional centre of any situation. It’s being the person who controls the mood, instead of simply reacting to it. It’s the ability to turn a negative into a positive, instead of meeting a negative with another negative and end up embarrassing yourself and losing control of the conversation.

 

People who don’t have impact are easily flustered and become emotional when they are attacked or when things go slightly wrong. They fall to pieces. They complain. They get upset, or worse, they respond in anger and end up looking like the nasty one themselves.

 

Being in control isn’t about avoiding these difficult or dangerous conflict situations, it’s about being calm and knowing how to deal with conflict, difficulties and criticism. One way to do this is by leading the energy in the room where you want it to go.

 

There is a Japanese martial art called Aikido which embodies this idea beautifully. Aikido is translated as “The Way of the Harmonious Spirit”, and its main philosophy is based on the idea that we must never meet force head-on, but instead re-direct the force of the attacker to where we want it to go. This means that Aikido requires very little strength. Instead it requires us to be more sophisticated and “lead” our opponents momentum and either turn it in another direction, turn it into something else, or dissolve it completely.

 

There are three ways to master this technique whenever you face criticism:

  1. Remain calm: If you panic, you lose impact. Whatever is thrown at you, remain calm and assured that you are able to deal with it in a reasonable way. This already makes you more powerful than anyone in the room.
  2. Decide your own mood: Choose your response and set the tone yourself. Never let other people’s moods influence your own energy. The more in control you are of your mood, the more others will be led by you.
  3. Re-direct criticism to something positive: Very few things in life warrant an angry or emotional response. Some better responses are to either (a) calmly explain why a criticism is incorrect, (b) laugh it off and take it in your stride, or (c) ignore it completely (because sometimes the strongest response is no response at all).

 

Now, when you are faced with tough questions you will look forward to them and enjoy those moments of tension. It becomes like taking a remote control into your hands and deciding how to play the situation any way you choose.

 

Was this post helpful?

 

Let me know what you think in the comments box below.

 

 

 

Do you sometimes feel that a particular client or few clients are leaving you feeling drained at the end of the conversation or at the end of the day?

 

Have you thought about the reasons why you might be feeling this way? There are three possible reasons for this.

 

  • Over giving: Charging too little or giving too much of your time, almost always leads to feelings of being drained. It takes courage to charge what you want to charge and end the session when you say you’re going to end. Do it anyway. It will leave you with more energy to continue your day.
  • Not speaking your truth: What about those things you wish you could say to your client (but it might be rude or disrespectful, and after all, they’re paying you lots of money . . .). Those are the things you need to say!! Just begin your bold statement with a large dose of acknowledgment, compassion and gentleness. It’s nearly impossible to boldly speak your truth and get drained at the same time.
  • Getting attached to your clients getting results: Generally speaking this is a good thing . . . don’t we all want this for our clients? The problem is that when you get attached to your client getting great results, you tighten up and when you tighten up, you lose connection with your client and you lose connection with your intuition. From this place, you probably push your client too hard, or you protect your client from your inner pusher and you become quiet and withholding. Neither works.

 

Instead, trust that there is a much bigger picture working here. Sometimes people are ripe for results, and other times, it takes time.

 

Your clients’ results do NOT determine your goodness or worthiness. You can be amazing, even if your client didn’t get results and you can be terrible and still have clients get results but its helpful to use their lack of results as inspiration to step up your game so that you are holding the most optimal space for your clients to get results.

 

It’s helpful to trust that there is a bigger picture happening that we are not always privy to that goes way beyond how much money they made, weight they lost, or soul mate they have found. It’s helpful to celebrate the results they are getting, no matter how big or small.

 

It’s helpful to address your clients’ feelings about the results they’re getting. It’s helpful to love them completely as they are, even if they don’t change a bit, and, at the same time, it’s helpful to hold vibrant space for them to become who they are becoming.

 

But, it’s NOT helpful to take responsibility for your clients’ results. You can’t get results for your client, even if you try your hardest, because they are the ones doing the work . . . it’s their results. Your job is to hold impeccable space, like a cocoon for a butterfly. The space you hold includes your love, wisdom, energy and compassion and it’s their choice to become the butterfly.

 

When you’re doing your best to help your client win, it’s best to simply hand the rest over to them and to God and trust that everything that is happening is exactly what needs to happen, but, what if you’ve been charging an amount that feels good, sticking to your time agreements, speaking your truth, and giving the results over to God but, you’re still getting drained? Well . . .

 

Sometimes the arc is simply over and it’s time to complete. After all, even the best things in life have a beginning, middle and end. Your work together might feel like a stick of bubble gum that you’ve been chewing for 30 minutes and it simply no longer has much flavour.

 

If this is the case, its time to set this client free and refer them to another resource that can help them grow.

 

This will make space for new clients to emerge.

 

Sometimes, the problem is having draining clients . . .  but other times, the BIGGER problem is simply getting enough high-paying clients to pay the bills.

 

If this is the case, I’d love to help.

 

What do you understand by the term “business system”? What is it and how do they make your business work for you instead of you working for your business?

 

To read more about the basics of systems, you should get the book called “The E Myth” by Michael Gerber. It’s a great book on systems and it tells you how to structure your business so that things run on autopilot.

 

A great example of a system is McDonald’s. McD’s is probably one of the perfect system businesses out there today. Every job is very carefully defined. They have a 200 percent turnover in their employees every year, which means they have to have everything systematized in order to get anything accomplished so that the people know exactly what they need to do.

 

They know that when they put the burger on, they press this button and this button for certain specific period of time, and there’s a chart in front of them on the wall that says, “Time to flip the burger when the buzzer goes off” and then they flip the burger. Then, they have another little diagram that shows them how the Big Mac is built and they follow that. On the sheets, it tells them, “This is a Big Mac sheet” or the wrapping sheet or the boxes they put them in, it tell them that “This is a Big Mac box”. Every little detail, even down to washing the floors in the bathroom is laid out for them.

 

They have checklists, and they go through these checklists for all of the things that they have to do. As a manager, you go through the checklist, and say, “this, this, this, and this is all being done. It’s all being done properly. These got done today. Now I can move onto this next batch of things that I need to do.” All I have to do is look at this list, make sure that it got done, or followed through with the task exactly the way they were told to do.

 

The result? You have a product that is consistent every time – you can go to Paris and you can get a Big Mac that tastes the same as it does in Italy, New York, California or South Africa. They taste the same everywhere because they use the same system, the same ingredients and they build them the same way.

 

If you can build systems around your business, the effect will be the same. You can have a system for gathering buyer leads, seller leads and then building that list and monetizing that list by sending out e-mail to them, offering them products or services for sale. It’s a great way to set up your business so that everything is done for you.

 

Once you’ve built a system, got it going and then let it continue to move and make money you will want to move on to the next system. It’s a great way to do business and it lets you extract yourself from the business so that you actually have a business rather than a job.

 

If your current business will collapse if you leave, then it’s a job. If your business will continue without you there, then you have a system – you have a business, and that’s what you want to create. You want to create something that you can sell later and make money with.

 

I can help you with:

  • Gathering buyer leads
  • Gathering seller leads
  • Selling e-mails and newsletters to people on these lists

Have you tried problem solving through discussion, brainstorming and a whole lot of creating with your hands? Well, then you need to try what is called Rapid Prototyping.

Think about a challenge you are currently dealing with at work or at home. Then follow the steps below to start coming up with incredible solutions – while having fun.

What’s the purpose of doing this?
Rapid Prototyping forces you to start generating ideas to problems you’re stuck on. The aim of building a physical prototype isn’t so much to get an accurate representation of the solution, but rather to force you to get off your computer and work with your hands (which can help you see things from a different perspective and get away from the distractions of your everyday work) and give you something to work with when you’re trying to explain your solution to others.

How to prepare:
You don’t need much to get started. All you need is to have a problem in your mind that needs to be solved. For materials, you could go to a craft store to get some supplies or you could work with whatever you have lying around. You would need items like modelling clay, paper clips, chopsticks etc, however, the less materials you have, the more creative you will be forced to be.

Gather a few things from around the office – sticky notes, scissors, coloured paper, tape, paper clips etc but don’t feel like you have to have a whole lot of supplies.

Although you can do Rapid Prototyping alone, it’s a lot more fun (and easier to generate better ideas) with another person or a team so see if your co-workers are willing to join you.

You need to set up a few ground rules: the most important rule is to stop your technology from distracting you. The easiest would be not to allow any phones, tablets, laptops etc in the room. You could put your phone on silent and put it on a table in the corner, provided you are disciplined enough to ignore it when it “rings”.

Next, you need to grab a timer and stick to the allotted times for each step of the activity. By compressing time, you actually get better ideas, faster.

Here’s the process you need to follow:

Step 1: Immersion: Time = 5 minutes
Start by reviewing all the information you have about the problem you need to solve and make notes (on the sticky notes so you can work with them later). Where are you now? What do you know about what people want or what could be improved? What are other people doing that you like?

If it’s not something you feel you have a ton of personal experience with, you could sneak a phone or computer into the room (for this step only) and quickly scan any research that has already been done in the area, such as user surveys or articles reporting on data on the subject you’re discussing.

Step 2: Insights: Time = 5 minutes
Now take all your sticky notes and look for connections within them. Are there common threads that stand out? Are there any ideas you could group together into a bigger concept? What surprising things stand out to you?

Can you see why it’s useful to write on sticky notes? You can move and group similar ideas to help you draw those connections.

Step 3: Strategy: Time = 10 minutes
Now, with all this information you have, it’s time to brainstorm ways to address your problem. You want to come up with many ideas, and not be held back by anything that sounds “too crazy”.

Depending on the size of the original question you started with, you may need to hone it in a little at this point.

Step 4: Design: Time = 10 minutes
Now, pick one of the strategies you find most interesting and build a prototype of it. Depending on what you’re working on, prototypes can take a lot of different forms: a storyboard, a paper prototype or a physical sculpture.

The prototype you create does not need to be perfect or functional. It just needs to tell the story of your solution in a way that’s quick and easy for people to understand and that allows you to start seeing how your solution could play out in reality.

The result:
Will the solution and design you come up with during this activity be the final answer to your problem? Probably not, but you will definitely have started to generate ideas, and you’ll have a solid jumping off point to build on. It’s not about what you’re building, but about what happens afterwards.

Take the prototype you’ve created, and think about ways it could be improved or added to. Take it to your team (your manager, boss, wife, significant other) and get their thoughts and ideas. Go through this activity again to come up with more solutions until you feel yourself getting closer to the result you want.

Just doing this activity will help you get closer to your solution. It will force you to start coming up with ideas and open your mind to more creative ones.

What problem has this helped you solve?

Let me know at #PriorityAdminDiva

Do you need help with calls, research and other short tasks that can be handled by an intelligent, multi-talented assistant?

 

Here are a few examples of what I am talking about:

 

Custom Research (Data Mining):

Finding detailed answers or solutions to unique questions and problems facing you, the client, for example:

  • Compile a list of all trade fairs coming up in the next few months
  • Find all the day care options between my house and the office and set up visits for any morning you’re free in the next two weeks.
  • Compile a list of outdoor events available near Cape Town including distance and price.

 

Deal with Customer Service:

Contact Customer Service on behalf of clients . . . examples:

  • Call SAA/British Airways to get your laptop/Ipad/Tablet back which you left on the plane after your most recent trip.
  • Deal with the warranty/guarantee process on your laptop/Ipad/Tablet that just died while you were using it.
  • Cancel your subscription to Getaway magazine

 

 

Product and Service information:

Find, research and/or order products and services, for example:

  • Phone around to find the stockist closest to you of your favourite wine
  • Find out prices and how long it would take to make a dozen custom decorated cupcakes from a few bakeries near you.

 

Personal and Work Projects:

Miscellaneous projects lasting 1 – 10 hours where clients need some extra help:

  • Put together a list of blogs and other sites that write about [your business] along with their Facebook and Twitter followers.
  • Put together a list of suppliers of [name the product] and get at least three quotations from those closest to me.

 

Reservations and Entertainment:

Find and book restaurants, appointments and entertainment, for example:

  • Find a restaurant for next weekend that can host a dinner party for 25 people, at around R120.00 per person, and has halaal and vegetarian menu options. A private room would be a bonus.
  • Find a place in Cape Town that does kiddies parties, and can also do theme parties.

 

The tasks listed above share three common attributes:

  • High Pain:

This is a task you need to get done, but when you think about doing it, you wish someone else (like me) could just take care of it for you. They’re time consuming, boring or simply annoying tasks. Perfect tasks for outsourcing to someone else.

 

  • Low requirement for perfection:

No one will be able to complete a task for you as well as you could do it for yourself. Make peace with this fact, then figure out which tasks you don’t need to be done perfectly. If someone else (like me) is finding information for you and only finds 90 percent of what you’re looking for, is that enough or do you need 100 percent of the information to be found?

 

  • Objective outcome:

The best tasks to outsource are the ones that don’t require preferences to be taken into consideration, and only rely on requirements to be met, e.g. the request to find a restaurant for a birthday party – there are a lot of objective conditions to be met for the request to be considered successfully completed.

 

A similar but poor request would be to ask for a fun and interesting restaurant for a date. There is too much subjectivity and personal preference in this request and the odds of coming back with a good outcome are slim to none.

 

Questions:

  • What do you have on your To Do list that I can help you with right now?

 

 

  • Do you follow any personal guidelines when outsourcing tasks? What are these guidelines? Please share them in the “reply” box below.

 

 

 

Meme10_Eat a live frog first thing in the morning

 

 

Here are 5 reasons why you’re possibly meeting at the wrong time . . . every time.

Early morning or end of day – You’re meeting at the beginning or end of the day. 9am meetings are just asking for latecomers, and at 4pm, people are tired and are more likely to leave early.

End of or beginning of week – You’re meeting before or after the weekend. Mondays and Fridays are common days for workers to take off to turn a weekend into a long weekend or work from home (or they could be distracted by weekend plans).

Lunchtime – you’re meeting when everyone’s hungry. Even 11am meetings can run into lunchtime, so plan more time around the hour of growling stomachs.

Afternoon slump – you’re meeting during the afternoon slump. Afternoon slumps start around 2pm. Give employees/colleagues more time to get their second burst of energy.

Afternoon brainstorm – you’re meeting to brainstorm in the afternoon. Studies show creative thinking peaks earlier in the day, so consider the type of meeting you’re having besides considering the time of the meeting.

View from 34th Floor(1)

 

I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to get rather annoyed with the way some marketers bombard me with their content marketing, many using the “Fire Hose Effect”.

 

We all know that a fire hose blasts a flame with a high powered surge of water, destroying anything in the way of the water stream or at least completely soaking anything in its pathway.

 

The Fire Hose Effect in marketing works very much the same and is how many marketers are targeting their prospects. They assume that once they have your attention they need to throw as much marketing material in your face as possible so they don’t lose you. With the Fire Hose Effect, the goal is to keep your attention while they have you.

 

For example: A prospect visits your website site where you flood them with calls to action. They can sign up for your free newsletter or free class, watch your video, connect with you on Facebook and Twitter etc. Now, let’s assume they choose one of these offers they’re then provided with more content than they know what to do with.

 

I’ve had situations where as soon as I sign up for the free newsletter, I’m given a link to a video series, a workbook, a book and a link to member only content – password protected (some of it time bound forcing me to respond within a given timeframe).

 

It’s too much all at once. I’m now feeling overwhelmed and you know what happens? Half the stuff I receive goes unopened and therefore unread. If I’m really interested in what you have to say, I will file it in a file called “unread” with the intention of reading it later when I have the time. I must warn you though, this file is growing daily and the likelihood of me ever getting to read what’s in it is getting slimmer by the day. So instead of taking action like you were expecting me to, your mail has gone unread.

 

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Let me share three simple steps you can take to stop overwhelming me (your future prospect) with information overload.

  • One call to action – decide what you want me to do and then create one landing page that does everything in its power to motivate me to follow through.
  • Create one simple, powerful and valuable piece of information to enter into your sales funnel – free information is great and valuable information makes me see you as a credible resource I can turn to for help. Keep it simple and focus on quality over quantity.
  • Follow through – building a relationship with me (your future prospect) is the best way to move me forward in your sales funnel. Instead of overloading me with freebies and content, follow up to see how I’m doing with the information you provided. Ask me if I have any questions, ask if I’m ready to take the next step and tell me what that next step is.

Make things simple for me and for yourself.

Create a highly focused strategy that strives to offer specific information to interested people like me.

Then build relationships with people like me by providing superior quality information and a genuine interest in my progress.

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